Award-winning and prolific children’s writer Jane Yolen shared a lesson on revising picture books in an e-mail interview with Suite101 writer Jennifer Jensen.
About Jane Yolen
Jane Yolen has written more than 300 books for children and adults, including picture books, young adult novels, graphic novels, and poetry volumes. Her books have won Caldecott, Nebula, Golden Kite, Skylark, Jewish Book Awards, and many more.
Some of Jane Yolen’s picture books, such as An Egret’s Day, are specifically poetry and are published by Wordsong, the poetry imprint of Boyd’s Mills Press. Others are classed as general picture books, but are beautiful examples of lyric prose, such as The Scarecrow’s Dance and the classic Owl Moon.
Poetry and Lyrical Prose in Picture Books
Jane Yolen was a published poet before she ever became a children’s writer. When she teaches classes, she knows that her writing students’ rough drafts can be wordy and unfocused. For a quick example she “just scribbled down” the following:
One day in October, the sun shining down on the turning leaves, a little frog braved the twisty dark pathway out from the pond. In the water he had thought long and hard about fall and what it meant to a frog, but frogs love green: green water, green lily pads, green leaves, green frogs. The idea that the world was turning red and gold was frightening. Red and gold, not green. But Mama Frog had always said, "Most things that are frightening are only just new." So he was determined to see the scary Autumn thing for himself.
Revise First Draft as a Poem
Jane Yolen says, “I can already hear it is too wordy. But if I set that down in breath spaces, I can immediately see where I have problems:”
One day in October,
the sun shining down on the turning leaves,
a little frog braved the twisty dark pathway out from the pond.
In the water he had thought long and hard about fall
and what it meant to a frog,
but frogs love green:
green water,
green lily pads,
green leaves,
green frogs.
The idea that the world was turning red and gold was frightening.
Red and gold, not green.
But Mama Frog had always said,
"Most things that are frightening are only just new."
So he was determined to see this scary Autumn thing for himself.
Revise for Lyricism, Leave Room for the Illustrator
Now that the lines are broken up, she can see that it is “many too many words, some of which need to be told with pictures. But now I can see it and, upon reading it aloud, hear it, too. And also set down this way, I can see how the pages might fall. And so I can rewrite it again, only better this time.”
One day in October, a little frog braved the twisty pathway from the pond.
In the water he had thought a long time about fall. They were scary thoughts.
Frogs love green: green water, green lily pads, green leaves, green frogs. The idea that the world was turning red and gold was frightening. Red and gold, not green.
But Mama Frog had always said, "Most things new are scary. Most things that are frightening are only just new." So he was determined to see the scary Autumn thing for himself.
“See how that transformed? And we are only on the first revision!” finishes Yolen.
For more advice from Jane Yolen and other children’s writers, check the articles listed in How to Write Children’s Books: Top Authors Give Tips.
Jennifer Jensen - Jennifer Jensen is an Indiana writer just returned from a lovely few years in County Cork, Ireland. She has been the Feature Writer for ...
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